Pam W. ~ 12 Days of Moms ~ Day #7
When I hear the expression “it takes a village” I instantly see Pam’s twinkling blue eyes. She is my on-call momma and greatest resource for mainatining my sanity while navigating this crazy parenting gig here. With 3 kids (the youngest being the fastest escape artist ever) she is in the thick of “momming-it” right now but makes it look so easy. She is the quintessential SAHM – baked cookies with margaritas and all. I trust her with my kid more than I trust myself somedays. Her heart is greater than the universe and her hugs will mend the most broken of spirits; she simply makes everything better.
Name, occupation, where you live
Pamela, stay at home mom to my 3 kiddos, Chesapeake, VA
Who were you before you became a mom?
This sounds like an easy question butttttt….. for me it gets broken down into 2 parts. Before I lost my Dad and after I lost my Dad. So the before… I was happy and couldn’t wait to have a family of my own. I loved my life and lived it without worry. I had LOTS of plans to travel and couldn’t wait for what the future held. I was very secure in all aspects of my life. I had a strong marriage, great friends, and a wonderful future.
Then the after…. I lost my Dad very suddenly and it left a huge hole in my life and the lives of my mom and sisters. We were all just doing our best to make each day go by without tears and I wanted to stay strong for my mom. We were all a bit lost in our grief. It took away a lot of my “care free” attitude. I would get scared if my husband didn’t get home at his usual time. My thoughts would go to that terrible place of “what if he is in a car accident” and “What if I never see him again.” I started to change into a person that was scared about everything for fear that I would lose him. Thank god my husband is AMAZING because he has dealt with all my panic calls of “Where are you?” when he is only 5 mins late.
A little less than a year after my dad passed away, I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I felt like life was breathed back into me (figurative and literally..haha) and it was all going to be ok. Yet I still live/deal with those fears of losing my husband and children.
How did you imagine yourself as a mom before you had kids?
I thought I was going to be so awesome! LOL. I was going to be firm but have a good balance of fun, patience, mixed with lots of energy and happiness. I was never going to yell at them in stores or change their diaper in the trunk of a car. They were never going to have a tantrum that I couldn’t handle and I was NEVER going to let them drink a sippy cup that rolled on the Target floor or eat the goldfish that dropped next to it. My mom made it look super easy, so I can totally do this… right? NO, Not even close to right… Motherhood had brought be an abundance of happiness but easy is the LAST word I would use to describe my version of it.
Who are you a mom to?
I have 3 wonderful children. Claire (7) is our oldest and is the definition of a first-born. She is sweet, kind, strong, a pleaser, and so loving. If she was old enough, I could leave for a week and she could take care of the whole house AND her brother and sister without missing a beat. She is my memory (because I still haven’t gotten that back after my pregnancies). An old soul and wise, far beyond her years.
Joseph (6) is our middle child and our only boy. God threw me a curve ball when I found out I was pregnant with him. Claire was only 6 months old and I was shocked to say the least. With that said, he was the BEST surprise I have ever received. He is ALL “boy.” I really didn’t understand that expression until I had him (all you boy mommas know what I am talking about). He is so sweet and just wants to play all the time! He is smart, athletic and very easy-going. He has a strong sense of self which is the part I love so much about him.
Avery (3) is the last and final piece to our family puzzle. She is a FIRECRACKER – Strong willed and full of life. She wants to be a big kid like her older siblings and does whatever they are doing, even though she is half their size. She is very sweet and a cuddle-bug loves princesses, dress up and to play! She has the best smile that makes me melt every time she flashes it my way.
Biggest fear for yourself
The biggest fear I have for myself is that I am not going to find my “part 2” in life. Being a mother is all I really ever wanted to be so now that it has/is happening I wonder what my next career will be. Once they don’t need me on a minute to minute basis, what am I going to do? With my youngest starting preschool soon and the 2 older ones going to school all day it has really started to come to the forefront of my thoughts and I wonder what will fill that time. I keep waiting for an “AH HA” moment but it hasn’t come yet.
What do you fear most for your kids?
This question is easy for me! I fear everything!!!!! From small things to big thing..I worry! Will they make bad friends? Will they get killed by a drunk driver? Will they get hooked on drugs? Will they marry a terrible person? I would go on, but I will spare you the deep dark spaces of worry in my head!
Who are you now aside from a mom?
I am a wife to my amazing husband of 11 years. He is my rock and I thank God for him everyday. He is the hardest working man and has more drive than anyone I know. He is the most amazing father to our 3 children and I could go on but I will stop at saying he is simply the best!
I am also a daughter to my strong and loving mother! She has so much grace and is the best role model for me and my children. I am so very lucky God gave me her. I have 2 sisters that are funny and the best mothers! I hit the jack pot in the family department!
I am also a friend to the most amazing group of girls! I literally don’t know I got so lucky, I must have been a saint in my past life!
How do you relax/treat yourself?
To totally unplug I will sit in front of the TV and binge on Housewives! (preferably Beverly Hills or NYC) or watch a movie with a nice glass of wine. I also love to spend quality time with my hubby. Funny enough, going on a date is a “treat” when you have kids! And having a girls night is also a nice time for this momma’s soul!
What do you love the most about your life right now?
I love the place my marriage is in. I have hit the age when you see marriages start falling apart or a couple hitting “a rough patch”. It makes me so sad for them but also extremely grateful for my marriage. I am not naive to think that things won’t rock my sturdy boat, but right now, we are very in tune with each other and our children. I very much have a partner in life and in parenting, so I never feel alone or that I have to do it on my own.
What do you hope your life will be like in 10 years?
In 10 years, Claire will be 17, Joseph will be 16, and Avery will be 13. Sooooooo I will have 3 teenagers!! Lord help me! I hope that my children have good friends and are happy. I hope that we will have gone on some fun vacations and created a lot of fun memories to hold on to.
What do you want for Mother’s Day?
I am really basic when it comes to gifts for myself. Pair of workout pants, a shirt… nothing to fancy! I also love a good breakfast restaurant or just not cooking at all. That is really the greatest gift I could get…not cooking for the day… or maybe 2!
Happy Mothers day to all you hard-working mommas out there because…. Mommin’ aint easy!
(Photo taken by Jami Thompson Photography. She is amazing Btw. Beautiful shots and has her own photography closet so you don’t have to stress about what to wear. Not to mention she’s a stellar human and momma herself.)